Salem was the best cat I’ve ever had. From the first time I ever saw him when he was a kitten he was the cutest thing ever. He’d always get out of his cage and go exploring, always finding new places to get stuck in. I started taking him in my bed with me and hed snuggle right up to me and sleep in my hair. Or hed sleep right in my side. I even bottle fed him for a few weeks when his mom wouldnt take care of him, since he was the runt of the littler it happened a lot. I was okay with it. it made me feel important to him.
When he got older I started taking him out side. Once, he got stuck in a tire. God he loved the outdoors. He couldn’t get enough of it, that was where he was truly happy.
I don’t know what to do anymore.. It’s worse now. I used to be able to handle having no one.. Now, everyone is against me. My family doesn’t even care. They hurt me worse than anyone else does. I’m fucking alone. My boyfriend can’t even fathom how I feel. He can’t. I’m alone and no one understands. I don’t have anyone who I can talk to. All I can do is take it and wait till I can leave in 5 months.. I don’t know if ican last that long..
My mother told me that you can’t cure depression,
that taking pills wouldn’t fix me and taking six
instead of the prescribed two definitely wasn’t
going to speed up the process. But I met a boy
who tasted better than Prozac. He made it easier
to get out of bed. He kissed me like I was
alive, like I wasn’t empty, like maybe there was
something left inside me. He made my bones
ache less when he touched me. He made it okay.
When my world was crashing down around me,
he picked up all the pieces. When I stopped
breathing and tried to tear open my wrists to
find the last little bits of happiness left in my
veins, he was there to lace me back together.
But he left and I haven’t washed my hair in three
weeks. My mother was right.
— I met a boy who tasted better than Prozac (via extrasad
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I’m literally so tired. It’s not the type of sleep tired.. It’s the “I want to kill myself” type of tired. I can’t do anything right. I’m screwing up friendships and relationships left and right. No one fucking wants me around. Not even my own mom. I’m so close to giving up that its not even funny. I just want to fucking die. Right now. I keep saying that but I’d miss my cats. How pathetic is that.. I’m sad to kill myself because I’d miss my cats. No one else. Honestly. If I didn’t have them I would have done it already. No one is keeping me alive. I’m just so sick and fucking tired of becoming one of those people people get sick of. It happens a lot too. Way to much and it hurts. It fucking hurts! To have my mom sit there and tell me I’m a mistake.. To have my friends honestly not care about me.. Yeah.. To have the guy I love hate me.. It’s sickening. I deserve to die. Don’t fucking tell me I don’t because I do. No one wants me around. They’ve made that clear. So sue me if I want to just up and fucking leve and disappear. I can’t DO THIS anymore. Ever. This may be my very last post..
The most accurate cat thing ever.
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Friend: “You okay?”
No. I want to die, I want to scream and cry and have sometime hug me and hold me tight and not say anything. Im depressed and I cant figure out why. Please help me, I’m drowning in myself hatred and I cant seem to breath. Yeah(: I’m great!”
Im getting worse.. i can smile and laugh sometimes but lately… It’s becoming more and more forced like… I’ve been so angry and so tired that I lash out at everyone.. It’s hard.. Im sick of being weak and crying over everything. I just want to say “FUCK YOU!” To everyone who breathes..